messing with destiny?

More conflict and confusion regarding the big move. I'm afraid of debt. Shouldn't I be? How much can my family contribute? Let's see. There's Tara&Randy, Grandpa, Kayla&Michael, Rona&Bob...if I can get a 10K loan from each of them, I'd be much better off. Tuition is due each quarter. It's like $5K a quarter. I knew it was expensive but my financial aid awards might not even come in until the beginning of the year because I applied later than usual. I'm going out of my fucking mind. I have no other choice. I have to leave. Or go broke. I need this though. So much. If the family could just loan it to me...

mmmph

Deadlines woosh like in that book...Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Well, I can see them before they hit usually. But there are some deadlines that if breached, will seriously affect the course of my life.
What happens if I don't go? I will still be living here. So...won't I still be seeing the same people/lack of other people? That's exactly right. But just in case I don't go, should I have a back up plan? I could live with my grandfather and his caregiver. That would probably suck though. Where else could I live? Tara and Randy? The Roceretas? I would be stuck with the car living here. Ugh. I believe that the less one prepares himself in secondary school, the fewer options he or she will have once they are out. I did not think or care, and am stuck with few. I know I will incur debt. I know there are those that can help me, fortunately. I must go.