last day

The final day at Rocket XL, a moment of triumph

"Matt, what's your favorite drink?" said Paul, a marketing manager.
"What?" I said. "Oh, rum and Coke, I guess."
"Rum and Coke!" Paul clapped his hands exuberantly. "We're going to Vons! Who's ready for lunch?" He laughed and followed some coworkers out.
I swiveled my chair back to face my monitor, meticulously adjusting and refining figures in Excel, crossing ts and dotting is ducks in a row, etc. It was the occupational equivalent of pulling out your arm hairs and aligning them in little rows, but this was the last time I'd be able to do it, and it would be the most straight, pristine, beautiful line of pulled-out arm hairs I would ever create.

FIXING UP TW'S MISTAKES

"Matt!"
Beautiful Amanda shouted as she greeted me, shopping bags in hand. "If you want to make a career out of your internship, you'd better know how to drink!"
I smiled. "Just because I'm nineteen doesn't mean I can't handle my liquor!"
The coworkers dropped the shopping bags on the kitchen table. Handles of Captain Morgan's spiced rum peeped out from the vociferous rustle of plastic bags. The redness of the Coke bottles immediately grabbed your gaze.

A stampede from the offices above headed for our warehouse room below. Concrete walls and steel beams formed this chamber where we interns keyed away, overlooking the only kitchen and the far bathroom. MORE DESCRIPTION
"OoOoh!!" Anson cried in glee. "Matt's last day...Captain Morgan!" His tribal tattoos and sharp skate-culture attire would lend one to believe he manages a record store, but he's the vice president here.
"Yeah Anson," I said. "I'm busy working on this final report, will ya make me a drink?"
"You got it."
"Ballsy, Matt!" someone said. "I didn't know you talked to your boss like that!"
"This is ridiculous," Dan Zlotoff said.
"This is awesome," said Tyler Robertson. He leaned over toward Dan's desk. "Oh, did the Gears of War 3 video load yet?"

Staring remotely at my monitor, working the system.
Tab
space
s
Click
alt+tab
alt+d
control+v
Click
Click
alt+tab
enter
Take a sip of rum

graph adjusting. fix the color scheme. ask Dan for advice for fidget panels.

"Fixing TW's mistakes doesn't make this TJ Maxx thing come out any faster," I confessed to Dan.
He grinned. "More...coffee!" He said facetiously.
"Can't you see what I'm sipping on?"
"Oh yeah...more rum!"

Tab
space
s
Click
alt+tab
alt+d
control+v
Click
Click
alt+tab
enter
Tab
space
s
Click
alt+tab
alt+d
control+v
Click
Click
alt+tab
enter
stand up
sigh
go pee

I took a half-assed break, which meant getting up from my desk, but to get into something else that's work related, something else that made me a lot more uncomfortable - approaching a salaried coworker and asking them about their mistakes.
"Hey Victoria.."
She was typing. She looked up.
"Hey Matt." Still typing. Jesus. What time is it? "Yes what's up Matt?"
"Could you take a look at that document I sent you?" I caught myself clenching one of my hands and relaxed it.

"Ughhh...shit..." Dan Zlotoff held his stomach.
"What?"
"Too much coffee..."
"Oh Dan..."

"Matt your cup's looking a bit low!" Paul said. "Matt's only had one drink so far!"
"It's only 1 o'clock." I said. "But yeah, why don't you refresh my glass for me?"
"Alright champ." He took the glass. "Oh yeah, you're gonna finish the TJ Maxx thing for me today, right?"
"I hope so. No, I will."
"Fuck yeah you will!"

An extraordinarily well-groomed and tanned man donning designer jeans scampered down the stairs to our intern-cave.
"Hey Matt, you faggot, I hear it's your last day!"
"You just heard?"
His head turned toward the kitchen table. "Woah, Captain Morgan? Yo, T-Pain, how's that King of Fighters site monitoring coming along?"
Tyler threw his palms into the air. "Dude I've been working on Amanda's Dove thing all day. I'm locked down."
"You son of a cunt T-Rizzle," he put his hands on Tyler's desk and sucked air through his teeth. Somebody laughed.
"Hey, I just work here."
The tanned metrosexual removed a pen lodged between his ear and moussed hair and threw it across the room, whapping against the fridge. He made a masturbatory gesture into the air and mimicked semen spraying in Tyler's direction. "Uh! Uh! Fuck!" He waltzed to the NFL Blitz '99 arcade machine and manned one of the joysticks. "Hey Matt," he shouted. "You ready to get your shit pushed in...again!?"
"Nah I'm swamped. Maybe later - ask Tyler or Dan."
"You're such a bitch, Matt," he bugged his eyes out at me. "You know you're going to play with me and you're going to fucking lose!"

"Dan, you want a rum and coke, too?"
Staring at his screen, clicking, thinking, he said "Hell yeah!"
"Alright." I got up. "T-Republican?"
"Nah, I'm good," said Tyler. "I have to drive home tonight."
I laughed. "I think we all do.

I was cajoled but I played it off like I wanted to drink. DEPICT THIS SIMPLY**

This was my job. -irr


THE DAY OF THE SKIPPY PEANUT BUTTER WHERE EVERYONE COLLABORATED


WHAT WAS THE ROOM LIKE?!

Dan Z
Tyler
Craig
Anson


Aftereffects
ast my evergreen room i got paul's email

Hey Matt, hope you're fucking lots of bitches in college. Guess what, I'm in Boston and I just finished meeting with the TJ Maxx people, you fuckin' killed it bro! Good luck with college.