misery avoids company

god I feel like shit. there is one large task left at work and I can just stare at it in misery and dismay. i'm here, trying to do it but all i can drag myself to do is just nohthing, only sit here, feel bad, feel gross, want to eat more but am full, disgusted, not anticipating judgement uncertain about tonights events. want to go but don't feel on top of myself, am not communicating well with others, feel disengaged and in a fog, even though i turned it down the other night. feel odd. feel feel feel. i want feelins to be disengaged from thoughts. and bodily musings. feel so alien. just here. sorr this is not written well but had to be writtne incognito.