asdf 2/28

we're not happy til we're running away
clouds in your eyes
with nothing but the foggiest day

such a pretty song.
saw them play today.
it was fun.

dormant thoughts about the components of a film review. listened to the album and considered it by breaking up by different musical elements: the vocals, the synth, the lead guitar, rhythm, vocals, bass, drumming, energy, tone, genre or subgenre, the season evoked, the year of its release, the time of its release, the political atmosphere of the world at the time of its release... that sort of thing. disregard the last part.

can't sleep. i told myself it doesn't even matter how many hours of sleep i get tomorrow, i'll feel like shit anyway without coffee. and then once i have the coffee i'll realize I still feel like shit. my favorite professor here (whom i currently have) said there was this uncanny effect where a person will take on the persona of their job, internalize their responsibilities there subconsciously, and will assume the identity of that job's role. I hope this only applies while they're on the job, and not all the time. But it would certainly explain the gap between the rich and poor in this country. But then it undergoes the chicken and the egg question: do the wealthy exude a certain personality, or are they wealthy because they act "wealthy"? And then you have to consider where the wealth comes from - is it old money or new money? This makes me realize I have veered off the path I was going with my initial idea (of this paragraph) - do I feel shitty because my job is shitty? Or is my job shitty because I'm shitty? Or is this just a 1st-world problem (I work in an office) as I'm shitty for not realizing how grateful I should be to work this job? As so many people, including my father, are out of work right now and my rate of pay couldn't be beat with my student status and my city's local economy...shouldn't I work each moment with pride and apprecitation, dutifully? Nah, fuck it, school is more important and I should do the most dicking around as possible in these early years of employment because it's almost impossible for me to get fired while I can still get a kickass reference from someone who's not my dick of a boss, but my understanding manager. I wished I got to formally learn more fundamentals of running a small business...but I think I've picked a lot of it up directly and with doing some project management work. A lot of it is really shitty, though.