Custody over Remains

I'm going to send my step-father (is he even my step-father anymore?) about my mom's remains. He married her in 2006. She died at the end of the year. He remarried last year. She was married to my father for 20-something years, but that didn't last, she'll always be my mother. I think it is a modest proposal, a simple request, not too naggy of a question. I haven't even seen the remains, though. They're in an urn, usually, but what's inside? Is it full of powder? I hope I don't get high one night and start trying to feel around in it. My step-dad is spiritual, my father is not. The very concept of keeping someone's remains is quite spiritual. I'm only really spiritual when it involves desperate calls to my astrologer (and I only believe in it when I talk to her). I'm spiritual when it comes to illogical things. Like about what will help me last longer in bed, or what will get my girlfriend off, or what will help me remember things for a geography quiz. I don't know if having my mother's remains in my bedroom will make me feel more like she's "with me." Maybe that's weird. I know, in the months after her death, my step-dad told me he talked to her portrait on the wall. I've only talked to her in my head. It's about the same, though.