my last 7 years

I've been trying to outline them, although my memory has been failing me. Here's what I've got so far. Wish I had some weed. Will add more as I remember more. Feel like this says a lot about me, and how I've progressed.

Feb 21st 2011 - today
Jan 2011 - Officially girlfriended

Aug 2010 - Started my part-time job for mental health website
June 2010 - Moved off-campus to first real apartment on my own dime
June 2010 - Finish first year at real college, wrote notable 16pg thesis

Nov 2009 - First drunken college hook-up. Remembered to wrap it. Thought I was in love with her and got shut down. Glad to learn that lesson early on.
Sept 2009 - Moved to this new city in this new state to this new college, on campus
Sept 2009 - Resigned from social media agency job, completed noteworthy final report while being served captains and coke by my superiors
June 2009 - Accepted to out of state college. Expensive, but necessary.
Spring 2009 - Finish semester at local community college on a high note. Studied philosophy and business law, can't remember what else

Late 2008 - Dropped out of first community college. frustrated with lack of friends, support, and 30 mile commute
June 2008 - Grandmother dies. Notice that I'm able to cry at funeral (I could not at my mother's) as I'm no longer on antidepressants.
Early 2008 - Finish half-assed semester at first community college. Loved abnormal psychology, but got a C. Want to be a therapist but don't want to go to grad school.

Late 2007 - Start paid internship at social media agency in downtown LA. Learn a lot.
Summer 2007 - Spend two weeks in Paris, France. Lived in hostels, visited museums, pub crawls, late nights on my lonesome and with quickly-found friends. loved every minute of it. Paid for it with some college money my grandmother invested for me. Don't know where most of it went. Lived frugally otherwise.
Summer 2007 - Graduated from local high school. 2.8 weighted GPA
Spring 2007 - Continued Psychotherapy with famous MFT therapist. Can't remember if this was before or after Paris, or if Paris trip was in the middle.
Early 2007 - Get my driver's license. Delayed by arrest in 2006.
Early 2007 - Dad loses his job as mail room manager for WGA pension fund. He was there for 28 years. Gets a minor pension, but we lose our health insurance.

Dec 21st, 2006 - My mother loses battle with breast cancer at age 52. Read poem for large crowd at memorial service. Dress in all black. Cruel enjoyment in pathos. Enjoy the wake at step-dad's house in Ventura county. Mom was cremated.
June 2006 - My mom's wedding with my step-father. I mix muscle relaxants with alcohol and pass out in my aunt's Explorer.
Mid 2006 - Seeing psychiatrist in private practice for depression and anxiety (concurrent with seeing psychotherapist). Through this doctor, I experiment with Paxil, Welbutrin, Lexapro, and Effexor.
Mid 2006 - Pulled over and arrested on major street in my suburban hellhole on my way to Taco Bell. Driving without a license (just permit) blowing 0.04 BAC. (2 glasses of wine). Takes me longer to get my license. Fortunately, at my court hearing, the case was thrown out. Otherwise I would have had a DUI on my record at age 16. Blame my impulsiveness on the new Lexapro regimen.
Fall 2006 - Start senior year at local high school. Must take community college courses for credit to graduate.
April 2006 - Mom's divorce from Dad finalized.
Spring 2006 - Win award for best feature article in my school's newspaper - interviewed and wrote about teacher's Celtic band sideproject.

Fall 2005 - Junior year at local high school. Meet mentor who I'm still in contact with. Discover interest in writing and literature and possible potential. Still haven't taken full advantage of it. Can't believe that was 6 years ago...

Late 2004 - Graduate from drug court program. Acquitted of all felonies. Stepdad attends. Hard to believe he was in my life at this point.
Late 2004 - School cop told my mother I was suspected of stealing a red bull from local grocery store. We agree to transfer me to local high school in the next year.
Fall 2004 - Witness riot and "rumble" between blacks and mexicans at first high school from science building during chem class. Managed to get a C in that class, I think.
Mid 2004 - Start developing rituals of doing drugs alone. Painkillers, weed, amphetamines, and DXM. These rituals subside a bit during my time in drug court, as I'm being drug tested and can't smoke weed. But they increase during my junior year in high school.
Mid 2004 - Spend a lot of time on internet forum and playing internet games with internet friends. Look at pictures of naked women. Make dick jokes with anonymous fools. Play a lot of WarCraft III. Feel closer to friends on the internet than any of my classmates.
Mid 2004 - Realize my parents aren't getting along so well. Realize they are in debt.
Fall 2004 - Second year in high school. Anxious, but have friends. Not the best circle, but beats being a loner. Get bullied by a hardass group. This year sucks a lot more than the first year. Good friends leave or get kicked out. Try to spend time by myself a lot, but can't free myself from horrible people.
January 11th, 2004 - Arrested near first high school by undercover detectives while trying to smoke pot in an abandoned house with some dude. 2 felonies, with a tiny bit a meth and a single Vicodin pill. 10 months of my life devoted to California state Drug Court rehab system. DA said I would have done time in juvie if I wasn't white. Pretty fucked.

Fall 2003 - First year in high school. Meet some people who will influence me, for better or for worse, for the rest of my life. First close, cool friends...all who happen to do drugs, hooray! Get drunk for the first time. Get stoned for the first time.
June 2003 - Graduate from middle school. Ugly. Hate myself. Traumatized. First symptoms of social anxiety appear in 8th grade. Memories of hanging out at the mall with middle school girls and boys. Mostly awkward and uncomfortable. Kiss a girl or two. Innocent at best.


that's it for now. gotta go to bed.