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Am reading "The Right to Write" by Julia Cameron. Doing an exercise

Physically, a little upbeat, a little less sick, perhaps from being outside the house which might be making me ill. There could be mold problems or things in the ventilation that make me cough and spit up sputum and sneeze and accent my asthma in negative ways. I am not writing long-hand. Sitting upright rather content actually talked to a friend on the phone about a possible sex interest. This is no longer physical and must be edited. But we do not edit on this blog. No sir. Currently, for some reason, do not have the compulsive urge to eat, maybe because I am sitting upright and writing? Feels okay.
Emotionally, I've been satiated. Need a love interest, a new outlet, a new friend. I take society one day at a time and am slightly comfortable with that, gradually more, hopefully faster. Skipped a class because I forgot about an assignment, how is this emotional again? The hustle and bustle of everyday life. Not a sentence. If I wanted to write about a sick frog-charmer, I'd be too caught up in the details. Maybe that's what I have to work on, or just work on. I meant it that way. This is not meant to be read and cherished by others thought I want to find my own voice that other people would enjoy listening to and perhaps even speak back to me with.
Psychologically, I'm okay, I was able to push back meeting my friend (even though he is helping me with my car) to a little later so that I would be able to do this little exercise. But it feels so bland! I want that passion back, I went to the beach, I got high, I hung out, I did some work, I'm crafting, not perfecting a craft but developing it hopefully, I am rambling in tangents unmanagable, but intend to eventually manage.
My age bothered me after my last birthday but I'm coming to terms with it, this is really something right here, Julia Cameron is a genius. Here's a quote (though I will try to refrain from them because they take up space in material that is not my own),
"Be petty, critical, whining, scared. Be excited, adventurous, worried, happy. Be whatever and however you are at this moment. Get current. Feel the current of your own thoughts and emotions."
I am typing rather fast but one thing came up to me earlier today, why is NEUTRALITY seen as a NEGATIVE? Why isn't NEUTRAL neutral? These days, everything breezes by so quickly - everyone who matters is connected in one form or another and it feels like real passions, real meanings to things, real truths are on the same level of whims these days. Anyone can pick up a hobby if they have a few hours and a bit of capital, and they can drop it like a pen the next day. It feels like, "if you do not yourself consume, you will be yourself consumed". That's all me right there. Copywritten, bitches. The current is that I merely feel here, and since I do not feel bad, I feel good. I guess that's just neutral. And thank goodness I don't feel sick at the moment, like I have for the past two weeks. I swear, once I go back inside the house I'll start coughing shit up again. This morning I thought about taking a test - rest in a hotel for 3-4 nights and see if I stop feeling sick. I grabbed this coupon that lets men come to your house to clean out your "vents" in your house. I think my house has vents, even though it doesn't have air conditioning. I guess I will have to call them and find out? That doesn't really scare me right now, however. Yesterday I emailed Ryan. Today I emailed someone in the English department that old prose I wrote a while ago which is still decent even though a bit rambling it's true to heart. Right now, while I write now, I ramble still intangibly except to me, incorporeal (lacking material form or substance) except to thee.