change

C tries hard, but I couldn't stand him last night. and a lot of the things that piss me off so much, I can't even articulate. it's quite sad, really. I'm going to try, though. he tries to formulate opinionated judgments of things that I do in a way that translates as a queer type of "advice" or how tries to find a remedy for problems he can't solve, only those i chose to let him be aware of. I can't articulate this well. It sounds so trivial and menial. but at the end of the day he's just not fun to be around, not that i'm a dizzying socialite myself but i never really chose to have him as a friend, he just sorta stuck in there. I know how O feels too. He let C off easy. But O's been busier, he was in a city a few hours south of here with his significant other (who's bearing his child) and I respect that. i'm still debating how I can tell C that im trying to demote him. he says, "I'd rather hear this shit straight up...etc" but I know it's just a guise, that he can't really take it, that his "best friend" doesn't reciprocate even though it's damn obvious I don't particularly enjoy his company, at least lately. but I'm not going to totally alienate him either, and I can't, but at least that class is ending soon. oh GOD.
when each day ends a new day begins. the number next to the month changes, whether you like it or not. i'll sleep, sleep, and get as much as I can for I need but its just closer to that deadline...