frustration

am I frustrated because I doubt myself? or do I doubt myself because I am frustrated? I told my mentor when I saw him on a rare, random occasion: "I write...just journals and stuff mostly, but I want to write some fiction." He says okay good. I say "But creating characters and whatnot, seems so difficult. I can't write about anyone besides myself. I don't understand other people's inclinations, motivations, or what makes THEM THEM. I only know mine...to some extent." He says...then write about yourself.

i probably don't even need any new experiences to find material, i have enough in my life, strangely enough. but I feel like I perceive things so differently, and not different enough to be entertaining or enthralling to any other reader, just in a weird "you're overthinking" kind of way. some of it is so ashamedly stupid i can't even get it written down here. like...I had to leave a friend's house to get home at a certain time. C wanted a ride, I said sure fine whatever (like I have a choice...but don't blast me for being a dick, i just hate driving my car even though everyone else would die for one...its a long weird issue i have trouble explaining even to myself) and he brought it up once or twice, "Marcus, shouldn't you be leaving soon? it's 5:45!" i was annoyed, concentrating on a board game with someone else I joked, put him on blast, said sarcastically, "Thanks mom" and everyone laughed at his expense. Oh C...so serious C. Tries to see everything in black and white.

Well anyway I ended up leaving a bit later than I wanted to, was pressed for time, and ended up dropping him off at the bus stop. He assured me it was "fine" but I knew he was pissed off a bit because he wanted to go home because he was tired or hungry or some menial issue of the flesh. But I think he might have been a bit proud of me for not being coerced by his will. I did him a favor that very morning that might have saved him his job anyway.