leaving

Without revealing too much, I will most likely leave the city and state for a while later this year, for something that will most likely better me as a person, though it will most likely be costly, i think it will most likely pay off in the end.

Worried about my old man. He is trying to work his crappy job part-time so that he can attend classes for a graduate degree in the fall. He is determined but it will just leave him poorer. Going to classes will make him happier though, so that's psychic income gained. I worry about what might happen to the Kingdom if I am gone. I would talk to him at least once a week while I'm gone to listen to his stories and they will probably be melancholy at best until he finishes or finds a better job.

There are so many things, it feels like, that stupefy him about the inner workings of the Kingdom that I worry about how he will/would/should manage without me. But he is older and wiser right? Yes, but this is the man that taught me to read, much earlier than the other students, but after that, left me to read about everything he didn't know about and couldn't teach me. At the end of the day, if I didn't know, then he didn't know. Unless it was about a very specific art that had no merit in the hustle and bustle of everyday life in suburban society, except for the specific place where this specific art was created or performed.

Before, I was bitter, and I thought cruel things of him. "How could he be so stupid?! He knows nothing! I can't learn anything from him, and the more time I spend with him, the more I will become like him - and deteriorate until I am but a couch potato before dusk, and a lonely drunk reader at night."

But now I accept him. He will live (part of) his life through me, and that is why I must go away for a while and trust him of his own accord. Besides, I need to learn about what Marcus wants. to do that I must experience new things, and that isn't happening at the rate I want over here, even when I am coerced to try new things by O or C or whoever.